The words you use make all the difference.
Those who are actively networking, especially as a key part of a job search, are taught to ask contacts "for some time when I can pick your brain."
This is a phrase that has lost its luster over the years. Recruiters and others are often tired of being "used" by others to gain inside information who then don't offer anything and just disappear. "I am thinking of charging for my time when I get these requests", said one guru on LinkedIn.
In other words, the networking is too one-way, and "I'd like to pick your brain" has become emblematic of that.
Choose fresher and more meaningful words as you approach a new contact, and do so with the intention of sharing, not just taking.
Try these:
- "John Jones referred me to you because he respects your expertise in Operations...I'd love to know what you think of EOS, for example, and would enjoy talking about that with you for a bit, as I strongly believe in the methodology..."
- "You and I have some strong similarities in our backgrounds, so I'm very curious about your career track, and I can fill you in on what I've learned as I've networked with others"
Be sure to end the meeting by saying, if you haven't already, "What can I help YOU with?" You'll be remembered for asking it AND for following through.
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Don't quite know how to say what YOU need to say in your search? Contact Joanne