5 Ways to Avoid Poisonous/Negative "Experts" in your job search (or in life in general)!

A client I'll call Terri was checking in when she mentioned a disheartening conversation she had at a recent social event. A senior person who happened to be in her field told Terri she would not land a job in her field "because they're hiring only younger people for that kind of position", "You don't have enough experience for that title", "Your new certification won't help you", and similar. 

Naturally, Terri was upset. She had been landing interviews and doing her networking, and now this, from someone who is an expert! What should she do?

Has this happened to you in your search?

Well, if so, there are 5 antidotes to this poison. I'll say the same to you as I say to my clients: The first thing to do is get away from this person! Seriously -- physically remove yourself. Use any means necessary, like pretending you have a root canal this afternoon; even a real one would be less painful than listening to more of what this person is saying. So finding someone else to talk with is the first, best thing to do. 

Why? Know that you have so much to bring to a new employer, AND if you do the right things in your search, someone WILL see it and snap you up. And that's method #2: Reminding yourself of what you have going for you. Re-read your success stories, your recommendations and endorsements. Think of all people in your field AND outside it, who are cheering you on!

A third way to deal with people like this is to realize that if you absorb the message that a negative person is trying to give you, you are giving the power of your search to them, to their thinking. To their "They won't hire you". To excuses like "those applicant tracking systems", to "circumstances" to "the economy", to "age discrimination", to "you don't have enough experience", to any of the many other things beyond your control. So why even try, right? Once you listen and give away your power, it can become a self-fulfilling situation. 

So shut out their words so they won't worm their way into your brain! They are most likely the only people you're running into who have this negative message, so why believe them over everyone else? Easy: don't.

Fourth: I've seen so many people in search get around barriers - perceived or real - because they were told "You can't do this". They responded with "Oh yeah? Watch me!" And they DID IT. They held onto the reins of their search, said "Get outta my way", and made it happen. 

So Terri did all these as well as #5: She has stepped up her networking and contact development, with people who are encouraging her and are repeatedly impressed by her, and who are introducing her to others. It's just a matter of time before she lands more interviews, and gets an offer. She's excited again about her potential and it shows! (Happy ending: Terri landed a great job at a wonderful organization and years later, is still there, contributing away.)

Do what Terri did to avoid poisonous, negative people, and you, too, will prove those very people wrong, in the end.