Secrets of A Career Coach: A now-and-again series here on my blog page, about career coaching from the inside out

 

SECRET #1 OF THIS CAREER COACH: I HELP KEEP CLIENTS HONEST

My clients are in job search. 

 

The first conversation with each person who I might work with, starts out with me asking what they want next.

 

The answer is almost always something like, “I want a culture that is 100% about the company’s goals, my goals. Where people are valued, where everyone actually works together…and successes are celebrated…” Some might talk vaguely of their current role and changes happening that are not for the better, so it’s time. For some, it may BE time to leave or they will be thought of later as getting too comfortable thus not being challenged or not advancing, because “advancing” (meaning, going to the next level) is assumed in the US culture.

 

Then I ask you, just to make sure: So there’s no other place in the organization that would be a better fit for you? The answer, even if some think about that for a couple of seconds, is almost always No.

 

Now I push: So why do you really want to leave where you are? It sounds like you’d be giving up a lot, given your accomplishments and successes there.

 

You finally tell me: “My new boss is an arrogant, closed-minded, selfish jerk.”

 

The old saying “People go to companies for the company, but leave because of their manager” always comes to mind at those moments. I still hear this more than any other reason.

 

Like some marriages where damage has been done, there is no going back, and you the employee now sees only one option, just wants to leave. Time for a new role at a new place. Time to re-create your future.

 

When you have arrived at this spot, I know you are motivated to do this project called job search.

 

And if we decide to work together, here’s the first thing I ask for: Please sketch out for me your ideal job and your ideal company. The two overlap and often cannot be teased apart.

 

The simple way I ask you to format this exercise enables us to picture clearly the goal of your search.

 

We then go over every point. The company. The tasks. The joys. The 10% or 20% items that you won’t like as much but in every job there’s always some crappy stuff. The new successes you are after. How you’ll apply your amazing skills and talents.

 

I do this so you clearly state what you want: to yourself.

 

And I test your commitment: are you ready to go after this? Ready to revise your marketing, ready to research companies, ready to network your butt off, ready to ask for more salary than you’ll be offered, ready to deal with some “no” on the way to “yes”?

 

I want to know if you want it badly.

 

And you do.

 

And then I hold you to it.

 

How? I bring it up to you: “This role you’re applying for supports all the items you want in your next job, next company”. Or, “This role sounds like it’s positioned just where you want to be in your next career step, so let’s talk about ways you can confirm this…”

 

But sometimes things get hard. Companies where you think you’ll get an interview, don’t respond. The team you DO interview with at another dream company, sound disjointed and unhappy, so you’re turned off. Or the hiring manager’s boss is a miserable ass worse than the manager you’re leaving.

 

That’s when you can start to get dishonest. You start saying, “Well maybe I’m just not ready for the next step so I’ll look for a job just like the one I have”. (Potential employers will spot this and wonder what’s really going on.)

 

Or, “Maybe this is telling me that I should look at a smaller salary…” (Potential hiring managers will be puzzled over this “dropping back” and since it’s easier to just move on to the next candidate, they do, and you’ll never know…)

 

Or, “Maybe I should post my resume everywhere so that some recruiter will find me…”  (Viewed as desperate and lacking strategy)

 

None of those options are viable for the candidate trying them on out loud. And I’ll call you on it because I know you want to stay on goal.

 

And where someone’s strategy has had to change because of a major change in their lives, of

course, we adjust and even redefine the goal.

 

But when such major factors are not in play, this is where I will say, “Let’s review what you told me (and committed to as your goal) just a few weeks ago, as your target? As what you REALLY want?” And: “Are you giving up already?! You just began your search, you’re really just getting started. Stick with it and you WILL get to where you want.”

 

The client almost always says, after taking a deep breath: “You’re right. None of those options would work. I guess I’m just feeling discouraged. I didn’t know it would take this long/be this hard/a new job has always come easily to me.”

 

Ah, something else that has changed.

 

These down moments are understandable, of course. As someone who’s been laid off twice, and having a spouse laid off 5 months after being hired in 2017, I’ve certainly been there. And can feel your pain.

 

So I typically review some of your successes with you, show you how significant those are, urge you to jot down a couple more to remind yourself how good you really are at what you do.

 

And I’ll tell you to take a break from your search for 48 hours, reward yourself during that break, and ask your sister-in-law about the colleague she mentioned that she wanted to introduce to you – go for it! Drop back a bit in order to go forward again. Catch your breath.

 

All those steps will keep you aimed at your goal.

 

And that aim will keep you honest.

 

 

 

Can you do TOO MUCH networking?!

Can you do too much networking?

After all, we job search coaches urge candidates to network, network, network: whether via Zoom or in person, whether 1:1 or in large groups, it’s critical, we say.

And networking is given credit for 60%-80% landing new jobs.

It’s true: it IS all of that. The human connection is more critical than ever today when technology seems to dominate so much of the search process: it will, if you let it.

But is it possible to do too much “contacting”?

I didn’t think so until a few years ago, when I met Josh, a between-jobs marketing manager in job search for about 3 months (not his real name).

A contact of his recommended we meet, so I was at the designated Caribou Coffee, hoping to learn how I might help him.

When he arrived and we shook hands, his handshake was almost like he was going through the motions. He barely smiled. As we sat down I noticed he was jumpy and fidgety, his eyes darting about.

When he talked, he was racing through his “commercial” and his list of target companies.

He kept rubbing his face as if trying to stay awake.

Finally, I gestured a “stop” with my hand, and asked: “How ARE you, really? How is all this going for you?”

He paused. “You’re right…I’m exhausted…you are my 12th in-person networking meeting this week and I have 2 more tomorrow.”

I couldn’t hide my shock: “What?!”

I quickly calculated the time involved, the energy one needs to summon for each contact meeting whether in person or via video chat, the post-meeting TY note and ongoing follow up, endorsing others while asking for endorsements for himself…and how could he have so many meetings and still keep up with applying and updating his resume and profile, posting on LinkedIn, researching companies and teams, while still living a normal life with his family?

And shook my head.

“Sometimes I do 15 a week…that’s always my goal”, Josh added. OMG.

He complained that it was not proving to be “the panacea you coaches and even recruiters always talk about”, because he’d had very few requests for his resume and no “real” interviews from all those meetings.

I replied, “I think I can help you best by giving you my impressions of what you’ve said so far, and how you can make some adjustments that’ll help you. How does that sound?” He was open to that, so we talked.

He realized he was sounding rushed and harried and exhausted but didn’t know how else to do “all this networking”.

Which was the problem. As it often is with job hunters because they focus on what leads they’re hoping for instead of the relationship…they are looking to hunt instead of plant seeds and harvest.

Here’s what I said to him and what I’d say to you:

  • First, I’d recommend no more than 5-7 one-on-one networking meetings a week, whether in person or via video chat. That would enable you to really focus on those people and how YOU can help THEM. And focus on follow up and taking each connection more seriously as a beginning to a relationship.

  • Pace yourself – don’t do all 5 in one day. Spread the meetings out across the week.

  • Mix it up – mix in brand-new contacts with second meetings, and with friends you’ve lost touch with. Each one of these has its own energy demands on you so you can vary it to better pace yourself.

  • Know what you’re after: OTHER CONNECTIONS. You want to leave with NAMES. Think you’re after “hidden leads”? Most openings aren’t hidden today. BUT, you can learn of plans to hire early in their process by doing these referral meetings, becoming someone they’ll invite to apply: as I say, “get known so you can get nominated”.

  • I don't recommend using “one page networker” tools as much any more because people don’t know what to do with them as they don’t hang on to paper items very long today. And they look too much like a resume. Instead, emphasize with contacts that everything about you is on your LinkedIn profile. They will likely go there anyway before your appointment with them. So keep your profile fresh with comments using the language of your field, on others’ posts, and post some of your own. Don’t make updates and changes and then forget about it, keep it alive and interesting and conversational so that your expertise shines through.

  • Make it clear that while yes, you’re in job search, you are expanding your network on an ongoing basis, so this is about getting to know what it is that THEY need. Say this when you are making the appointment, say it in the meeting, say it at the end, and say it in any follow ups. And mean it.

Through the person who referred Josh, I heard he landed a new role, great news.

I hope it was in part because he did effective networking, based on relationship, and enough to energize his search, instead of too much “networking for leads or who you know who might have leads” which exhausts a search.

And keeping it in balance with all other search activities, so that you stay positive and keep up your energy.

He deserved that.

And so do you.

Why I do client resumes myself instead of farming them out

I'm a certified career coach practitioner who does my clients' resumes myself. There are career coaches who don’t like doing them, seeing them as a “document” that needs editing for dates, titles, keywords. And if they’re not writers, well, why not have someone else do it. So they hire “someone” to do it.

A company President I talked with earlier this year had his resume done by a service that is recommended by one of the biggest business magazines in the world, probably a marketing partner. When he saw the resume a few weeks later, he felt uneasy about it: it wasn’t “him”. It made general statements about company President “responsibilities”, had nothing about his achievements, said nothing about how he led companies or what he was like to work for, and it was visually unappealing. Seeing the awful result, he asked the randomly-assigned “writer” about his qualifications. Answer: “I was a CEO of a tech company”.

Sorry, not a valid qualification.

As well-intentioned as that former-tech-CEO-now-“resume writer” might be, he is probably getting paid $25 an hour to churn out resumes that are based on boilerplate material. And you can bet companies who hire non-coaches like this are going to be using AI instead of humans very soon – and the result may actually be better!

So others may “send it out” to get the resume done. But for me, it's an exercise in which I partner with job hunters. It involves deep discussion of success stories, motivation, career goals, values, personality, interests, skills they love using and similar. It’s deep listening time; if the candidate sounds low on confidence, I remind them of what they have done that has been astounding and tell them it's not bragging to talk about it, it’s informing the hiring manager.

If the candidate is angry I reflect that back to them and we talk about how they can defuse those feelings so they can keep moving forward. If they have not worked in a while, we talk about how to answer the inevitable question, “So what have you been doing?” with something that’s related to the open job.

Only a trained human who’s worked with thousands of real, human candidates can do things like that. Not AI. Not a hobbyist who means well. And not a paid-by-the-hour “resume writer”.

Any of my clients can tell you that the resume is thus far more than a history and keywords document; it's a statement by the candidate -- that lands interviews. It is “them on the screen”. Dates, titles, and keywords flow from this.

In 1 or 2 one-hour-long sessions, I quickly get to know their work selves deeply. They feel heard. Feel they are putting themselves forward, and better understand how it’s not “bragging” to tell their stories, but it’s really about being informative with the person who needs to make the hire. And to show them their new resume in a few days. The candidates says “Until now, I couldn’t talk about how I fit the job; now I can.”

It’s so satisfying to keep learning how to help my clients, as technology changes and the hiring world keeps changing. In response to the changing world, I continually make changes to format, wording, and more. And add to the coaching topics like “how to use AI to find target companies that fit you.”

Thus they come back for updates and send me their friends and family. I've worked with some clients 3-4 times over the span of their careers, and it’s wonderful (and fun!) to see them grow and progress, especially if it follows their career plan.

That’s why I love this work: each client is refreshingly individual. No two of you are alike. Each of you connects with the world in your own, individual way. The result for me is endless learning, constant challenge, continued engagement with meaningful work, work I do that helps families.

So have someone else do a client’s resume? Not a chance. I’ll continue to selfishly enjoy doing them myself, thank you!

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